Gak Penting, Works

Part of Coldplay’s Fix You:

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Bagian feel-so-tired-but-you-can’t-sleep nya bener banget nih sekarang. Badan bener2 mau rontok. Bingung mau mellow nangis2 ato gak. Yg jelas badan rasanya capek banget!!


Check List

Work Stuffs
Scope of Work –> waiting for new template
HSEC form –> downloaded, waiting for my mood to fill it
Module discussion –> waiting for the kick off date and make the detailed plan
Hardware requirement –> waiting for infrastructure design
Software requirement –> Microsoft, EMC (including the subcontractor)
Scheduling –> done before new year
DRP Audit –> reviewed new standards and policy, wait for superintendent’s approval

Non Work Stuffs
Kos2an –> masih nyari2
New friends –> have good proress

Journey, Love...Life...

Patience and Survival

Gak berasa udah seminggu aja dari hari kamis yg bikin hidup gw berubah. Dari gw harus tuker cuti, batalin liburan, kehilangan sepertiga gaji gw buat tiket yg angus, belajar PL/SQL, .NET, and crystal report. Otak jadi hectic, mental juga, apalagi badan. Dalam 3 hari gw harus benerin kerjaan, belajar hal2 teknikal lagi, dan persiapan mental.

Tapi akhirnya itu berakhir juga, hasilnya sekarang gw kena flu berat, tapi gw survive. Banyak dialog di Grey’s Anatomy yg gw suka banget, contohnya kaya ini:

Maybe we’re not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes to simply be human. Maybe, we’re thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we’re thankful for the things we’ll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.

Mungkin perjalanan singkat gw kemaren tidak mendatangkan kesuksesan ke gw, tapi gw tetep bersyukur melakukan perjalanan kemarin. Gw ketemu senior tua yg ternyata temennya kakak gw, mencoba dapet kesempatan lain, ketemu temen2 yg gw sayangin banget, dan masih ada bonus2 lainnya.

This short journey is just a little part of another much bigger journey. I’m drawing my line, traveling my spots. Balikpapan might be just a starting spot. I do wanna be settled down with a person, but i don’t want to stop to traveling my spots.

I keep questioning whether i’m expecting too much or doing too much or telling too much?? I do know what i’m expecting for my life, but i don’t know how i have to get it. I don’t know this is the right path or not. I do have my lessons, but they seem never enough.

Sometimes you’ll get very exhausted in your own path, and you’ll hope there’s some hands grab your hand and take you away. Because you’re very exhausted to walk by yourself. But, those hands are not the things you really want. All you want is a voice to cheers you up and kiss away the exhausted feeling you’ve had. This voice is in you, very calm and very clear, but sometime you need an extra power to hear it out.

I’m in the cross, and all i need is my patient to wait. Wait for the answers about the career and certainty about the feeling. Make sure that it’s not a fling. I don’t want another fling or another regrets because i’ve done too much. I’m 23, not 83. I still have plenty of times, i don’t have to be in a rush.