People Come people Go

Fools Like Me — Lisa Loeb

Everybody go
The party’s over
I want to be alone in my head
In my bed tonight
You never show

You must really love her
You think I don’t know
But I do, yeah it’s true
I think over is over

I’m right back where I started
(when it comes to wanting you)
I can’t have what I wanted

But I did, I can
I was, I am
Only human, living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed
If love is blind
If love’s a drug
It always is
It always was and
Love was surely made for fools like me

I know where I’m going
I’m tripping I’m sliding around
That’s ok
At least I’m excited
It wasn’t how I planned it
(wasn’t how I planned it
Feet are where I landed
At least I understand it now)
My feet are where I landed
(feet are staying on the ground)

Fools like me
Fools like me

I did, I can
I was, I am
Only human, living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed

Maybe it’s the sanest thing
Or just the sweetest kind of dream
But love was surely made for fools
(Love was surely made for fools)
Love was surely made for fools
(Love was surely made for fools)
Love was surely made for fools like me

This song is one of Grey’s Anatomy soundtracks. It suits in my current condition. My Balikpapan best friends, my roommate, my favorite geologist, my favorite partner, my mentor everybody has gone to JKT. Yesterday was like the climax for me. When i walked my favorite geologist to the car, i couldn’t hold my tears. I knew it was very silly. He just sit next to me, touched my head, waited a little longer to make me a little bit calm. I was nearly like a 3 years old girl who will be left by her father. When he told he’d resign, i’d know i’ll burst my tears for him.

Sometimes life isn’t fair enough. All kind people seems disappear easily or being away from me in a short time. It traps us in an inconvenience condition. Well..maybe i think it isn’t fair enough because i need a safe condition. When we always in a safe condition, it makes us very naive. I’m naive, spoiled, cry baby…you name it. Try to be a grown up is hard, but have to. Despite our choice to have a rock n roll life, but we understand that someday we’ll be leaving that life.

People come, and people go. You’ve just come to my life. You expected me as a shallow little girl, i hope you’ll find out i’m out of it. You thought i’m waiting for prince charming and living in it, but no, i’m not waiting for him, because you’re not as charming as prince. Both of us need to come out from our current dreams. I’m not going anywhere, standing still, wait for the time I can’t say ‘no’ when you ask me to leave.

gebleg

mas, dirimu jauh di sana.
jauh di mata, tapi dekat di hati.
bahkan untuk tetap merasa kamu deket di sini, aku harus donlot lagu rintihan kuntil anak.
daripada aku sedih karena ditinggal, maka sementara ini aku dengerin lagu the panas dalam.

Another Friend

After the DAA (Detailed Asset Assessment) meeting with the corporate team, i feel a lil bit sad. It’s ended. September is the time when the blue print will come up. I haven’t had any agreement for my existence on September, this is the first time i hope i still exist in this company.

I met the director for the DAA things, he’s a communicative man, smart, sincere man. And i think i met someone who has inspired me so much, both in this current company and the direction i want to be in the future. I feel like somebody gave me a chocolate when i feel really sad. A small thing, but it meant a lot for me.

His support made me really want to pursue my career, his advices to face the problems…in fact, I wanna be like him. The meeting circumstance was extremely different without him, he could capture the problem easily, communicate it to the others clearly, being in charge without giving any pressures. I do really wanna be like him! It’s been a long time i don’t have any mentor. One of the ‘big guy’ i’ve ever met in corporate, very helpful, very communicative, and the most important thing is i don’t feel small.

Building my confidence is a hard thing lately. I want to give precious deliverables for this project. Of course it would be hard, but it’s a pleasure for me to try as hard as i could. I wish to meet him in another opportunity, can’t wait to have a real task together with him.

I can’t wait to have another project with one of my best friends. As she said before, we can’t always have lollipops, sometime we have to meet or even swallow a bitter pill in our jobs. Now i start to have more passions in my jobs. I am sure this passion would bring me to more knowledge, friends, experiences, and become successful in my career.

I call you with that word, three letters word.
It’s comfortable for me.

I want to keep calling you with that word.